So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
