There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
