ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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