i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize