I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
