y did u give ur computer a hand job?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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