so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
