you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
