just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
