I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
