For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
