if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You need Xanax blowdarts
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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