woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
