It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you win again, gameday.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she peed on how many people?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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