1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
