So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
