you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
