Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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