i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
