aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
