I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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