yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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