dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
