I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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