We won't sleep together?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
