i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
