the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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