She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
