I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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