nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
