why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
