apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
