Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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