It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
