I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
