she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
