well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
