I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
