Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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