True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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