I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
