You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
