Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's official drugs can't kill me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize