he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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