We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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