If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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