it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
