I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drunk is not a location!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
