I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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