I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
