Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Green mimosas i think yes
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
