Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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