doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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