Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
