ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
