this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
