D3 body, D1 cock
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
zippers are such a cool invention
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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