Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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