If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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