You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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