I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I party with great urgency now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
