All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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