when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
