But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
