I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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