i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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