i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
