I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
