I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
