This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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