Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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