Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
