...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
