I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
