If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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